You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
