no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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