dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
