This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
