your parents love me but you hate me
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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