Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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