i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
