well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
