if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
