i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
