I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
