Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Brb crying the tears of my youth
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
