she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
