zippers are such a cool invention
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
