Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
