I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
