I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Life is so much better after having sex.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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