Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
