i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
