i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
well you can't waste a boner
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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