some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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