Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
