Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
