What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
