i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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