You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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