the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
