Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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