oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
