When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
