I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
