Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
