I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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