chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
ttyl tear gas
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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