one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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