Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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