if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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