i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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