its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
