kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
