Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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