ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I deserve this hangover.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
