I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
