when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
