I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
