He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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