If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
