So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
