Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
