She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
