I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
