im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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