Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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