If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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