So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Randomize
