he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It's shark week go big or go home
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
