I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
